It is currently a very gray and cold season in Poland. When the sun comes out, which is extremely rare these days, Max has to ask, “MOM!!!! What is the sun made out of?!” And Josephine, “Mom, WHAT IS THAT?!”
NOT KIDDING. She literally just asked the other day. I had to explain it was not the moon, it was the actual sun gracing our presence for a moment.
So it’s gray.
Then it’s also cold.
Not -20 F or C. But it’s been hovering in the 20s and early 30s. Obviously that’s F. In C, it’s been about -7 to 0 C.
On top of all of that, Josephine and MOMMY were both so sick this last week. She ran a fever for about 7 days, and my head felt as if it was stuck literally in a bucket of sand. I can’t recall the last time I felt so horrible.
So, needless to say, last week, we were mostly at home.
To make up for a week stuck at home where TV became the literal mother to my children for 24/7, I decided to start going on small daily adventures with Max and Jo.
Yesterday we went to an indoor Botanical Garden. It was okay. Nothing too thrilling, but also warm and had plants and fish and turtles and birds. The vines hanging from ceiling to ground inspired many monkey calls, and we screeched right along with the parrots. So what is merely a “Meh” place came to life with my Littles in their imaginations, making it a grand adventure.
Max and Jo have wanted to see the cartoon SING ever since their sister, Adelyne, told them all about it.
So, today I decided to leave the house for an early morning showing of SING.
What fun! Of course, the cartoon is in Polish, but both of my children don’t seem to mind; therefore, away we went!
The movie—it’s AMAZING. I loved it. It did not go in the direction that I thought it would — now, mind you, I did not see a single preview for it, but I imagined a much more American Idol direction once the fliers were printed and sailed around town…
It was much more somber than that. Hardships and struggles and overcoming were quietly being dealt with throughout the movie.
While fears were being squelched, dreams were also simultaneously being shattered.
And then everything literally falls apart.
Nothing went at all like I had expected.
Well, let me not ruin it for any of you that have yet to see SING. Let me just say, when there came an opportunity for the momma pig to sing, her husband and children watching, I literally began to BAWL.
Not quiet and pretty tears.
I was literally bawling. I was snotting. I had to TAKE OFF MY GLASSES and wipe away the waterfall of tears. I could not stop.
The mother—performing in front of her husband and children. The mother giving it everything she had. The mother LIVING out her dream. And doing it to the BEST of her ability.
The mother taking a risk. The mother — EXCELLING.
Yes, dear people out there.
A mother cartoon pig singing and dancing.
It was too much for me. I am afraid I cried literally ALL of my mascara off my lashes. My blue eyes turning as crystal as the Carribbean’s waters, as they always do when I cry.
To me, this momma pig, she was so much more than an entertainment figure for the little minds. She was the mother in each and every one of us.
The mother stuck in the mundane routine of washing dishes, cleaning clothes, feeding children, working sunrise to sunset.
She was the mother that danced and sang to herself and dreamed in her own imagination.
She was the mother that put absolutely everyone and everything above the very core of her being.
She IS the epitome of that very word MOTHER!
I have been feeling like that momma pig. At home. Stuck. In a sink of bubbles.
And, then, there I was at the theater with these two miraculous littles that I had to physically fight to bring into the world, and I realized that they are the ultimate dream.
I fought SO LONG and SO HARD to even conceive children. And then to get them to enter the world safely was another journey.
I grabbed my son’s hand and held it. His heart beating because my body grew him. His life living because God gave him to me for another day.
Being a woman is hard. Being a mother is hard. Making satisfaction in our souls as both is hard.
And this momma pig brought this pit into my stomach that there lies within each and every one of us a fire and a passion outside of ourselves and our families. Yet, while we are momma to littles, sometimes those other dreams may be put on the side.
But it doesn’t mean they are squelched.
It just means that our priorities are directed differently—straight.
In the meantime, someday is out there where it will be our turn to sing and dance.
And make our littles proud!