The beats of my heart!

Life can be lived in the simple moments of family and nature, enjoying two of God’s priceless gifts.

I reflect, and often, on how my life was once full of sorrow at the hope destroyed of a baby we lost, bitterness at a marriage struggling, fear of a son dying, and exhaustion that it all never seemed to end. Seasons that seemed to toil forever.

Then I see these perfect mountains and I count 3 perfect children and I see a man I admire most on this earth and I realize that time can pull you through all things.

And God was there, steadfast, through it all.

Silence and struggle does not erase quiet, infinite care.

God bless you and yours, our friends, in your seasons of life.

#hisloveenduresforever #greatishisfaithfulness

A funny for everyone married. Okay—mostly wives ;)

So, as I am trying to gather all of the photos I can find from my daughter’s trip to Taiwan, I thought that you may just enjoy a bit of humor that I saw on Facebook the other day!

Well—if you’re a wife, you’ll enjoy it.  If you’re the husband or the mother-in-law, maybe not as much?!  haha!

xo b

PS—All in good fun.  I promise.

We are the 2…

But we did not go crazy!

Just had a date…without kids.  I ate mushroom soup.  He had zurek.  I had super gooey hot chocolate with whipped cream.  And we split a cheese pizza.

And now he is still working at 1:30am.  So I am posting this photo to prove that at least we had an evening together 🙂

In other news…

He and Ada had a tremendous time in Arizona, Nevada, California, and Colorado.

We appreciated everyone that Rich got to meet and share with in regards to our work!  (Find us on Facebook for the time being~Bread of Life~while we work on getting our website up and edited)

Ada got to share about being a multi-culture kid—super excited about that.  I think she ended up speaking to nearly 170 mostly kids but some adults too.  She said she had so much fun.  Funny fact:  She did the majority of her presentations in Polish.  I asked her why.  She said she was less nervous to do it that way 😉  And I guess the biggest hit of all was “Kupa Zupa” (What little kids would call Poop Soup) served once a week at school.  Haha!  If I was a kid, I would find that great fun to learn about, too!

The littles and I barely survived—snow.  Freezing cold.  Many wooden fire nights.  Coal.  More coal.  Have I mentioned coal?  And then 8 days of sickness.  And then 1 glorious last week before Rich and Ada returned where the sun started to peek through and the babies weren’t puking.

So, truly, before they re-arrived back in Poland, I was able to straighten the house, make food, and somehow regain a bit of sanity.

But we’re all still super tired.  Poor Ada has been going to sleep at 4am, 2am, and tonight midnight.  Well, I guess midnight is progress, eh?

And Rich has now officially gone to bed while I am busy typing this—makes sense since he has a 7am meeting.

Perhaps I should follow?

In the meantime, Rich and Ada have only been home for 4 full days but it already feels like a blessed eternity.

SOOOO happy to have my husband and my first beautiful miracle back in my home.

And not just because I want him to stoke and clean the coal—and light and clean the fire.

I promise 😉

xo for now (I’ll post Minion Mom’s devotion tomorrow—OOPS.  I think that I better get back online to keep up)

b

P.S.  Sunday we got to take a few photos at church—So, this is just a day plus a few hours after Adelyne arrived back home.  You should note that she chose to wear her dress from the wedding she was in last year in Botswana—and so, of course, Josephine had to wear her beautiful dress form Ivory Coast.  Maxwell, to be honest, I am happy that he just let me put him in clothes and that he didn’t choose to go naked to church or in his baseball pajamas.  It’s a rare day when Maxwell is actually dressed.

Overall—What fun!

How well do you know your spouse?

The first real conversation I EVER had with my husband did not take place while we were dating.

It did NOT take place during pre-marital counseling.

It did NOT take place on our honeymoon…Or even the year after that.

The first real conversation I EVER had with my husband took place 15 years after we had been together.

And the only reason the conversation took place was because our marriage was at the point of pain.

Which is funny, because two years after we were married, Richard and I were camping in the Austrian Alps. We were in a tent, and it was our first summer living abroad. We didn’t have any money—maybe like $200 to our names, and we decided that we needed to leave Poland for a bit. So, even if it cost every penny we had, we knew we had to do it. Therefore, we hopped on a very Eastern European train and said, “Take us away!”

We literally threw our bikes on, and we were off for a little over a week.

And while we were in the Alps, sleeping amongst such beauty, we decided to play a very childish game.

It is one that I recommend all married couples play.

Truth or Dare.

Oh my! We had so much fun asking questions and hearing answers, chiding each other into doing something dumb if we didn’t want to answer, and learning things about one another that we never really knew.

But the thing is…that conversation was also very shallow. Everything we learned was all in good fun. So, I guess you could say that even though we were trying to play a game called “Truth” both of us still had parts to our lives that we had yet to share.

It wasn’t until 10 years after that fun game in the Austrian Alps that Richard and I actually sat down and had a true conversation from the heart. One where we actually learned about the other.

Fifteen years after being together.

Today, our lives are far more beautiful because we actually know one another. And, although the Alps were full of lots of hilarity and laughter, I wouldn’t want to go back to that superficial time in our marriage for anything.

When we were at a conference once, one of the sessions was on marriage. And the elderly couple, slightly disheveled, walked up to the front of the stage. Before they even began speaking, I thought—Really? They are the ones that will present on marriage? They look slightly out of place.

That’s when they spoke. And it hit me. They did not look the part of professional speakers—but their words hit the hearts of the core of marriage.

In marriage you each come carrying your own suitcase. It is not a bag of packed clothes and toiletries. It is a bag of your past.

Your past choices. Your past actions. Your past hurts. Your family’s past.

And, no matter what, this packed bag comes with you into your new life.

What many people try to do is shelf this suitcase in their closet.

But the thing is…the suitcase never goes away. It remains there. In the closet. And when your life is going one way or another, you may wonder why.

The answer, most likely, lies in that suitcase that you have tried to hide. In the back of your closet.

And until you pull it out and share with your spouse what items you have packed and brought into your marriage, you will never ever really know one another.

Because to know one another, you have to know everything.

I was in awe with their presentation. I don’t even recall their names. But I wish that I could thank them again for sharing something that is so true.

Today I ask you, “How many others are out there like Richard and I used to be? Never really having an honest conversation with one another through 3 years of dating and 12 years of marriage? A total of 15 years and multiple children together.”

How many of you actually KNOW your spouse?

Perhaps you are lightyears ahead of the rest of us.

For those that are like Richard and I were, I pray that you will find the time to really sit down, open your suitcases, and get to know one another.

Because that is when you will truly fall in love.

xo for now,
b

There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgment – is one not yet fully formed in love.  1 John 4:18, The Message

Have yourself a Mary little Christmas! And find a man like Joseph.

Mary is blessed.  She is.  She was honored and chosen to be the Mother of Jesus.  She was a humble servant and, although she questioned, she said, “May it be unto me as you have said.”

When Mary visited Elizabeth, John leapt for joy in Elizabeth’s womb.  Elizabeth proclaimed the greatness of the child Mary was carrying.

And when the shepherds came to see all that they had heard, Mary pondered and hid their proclamations in her heart.

Mary is the mother of Jesus.  And, if you have a mother of your own, you know how important that role is.

Your mother may have been a good example for you.  Your mother may have not been the best example for you.  But, no matter what, you grew, as a child, feeling the weight of that role.  The role of your Mom.

And Mary was a mother with a BIG role!

But Joseph…

This is what I type to you today.

I hope that you find yourself a Joseph.

Let’s take a look at him for a moment.

Joseph is from the City of David.  And he was pledged to marry a young virgin Mary.

And then, one night, an angel appears to him and throws all of his beautiful plans into the air.

No longer is he only going to marry Mary, he is going to be a father to a baby boy that will eventually be wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger…

Oh, and this little boy is the Son of God.  The Messiah.  The one that prophets have spoke of forever. Literally like forever.

And he, Joseph, he was going to be the earthly father of the Most High.

No pressure, Joseph.  No pressure.

Joseph had the opportunity to not take Mary as his wife.  He had every right to refuse the rather large job set before him.  And he could have asked for someone else to come alongside of Mary and help her with this baby whose name means God Saves.

But he didn’t.  He accepted the job.  He humbly stood next to Mary.  He took care of her.  He blessed Jesus.  And he allowed the story of Jesus to be HisStory (Get it?  God’s story.  History).

Joseph, not a lot is said about him.

Ladies, it is because he was humble.

But more than that.

He was also strong.

There’s more.  Joseph willingly raised a child that was not his own.

And, most importantly, Joseph put God first.

Lastly, Joseph remained faithful to the Word of God, bringing Jesus to the Temple to be blessed.

Ladies, it’s a simple answer, I know.  But let’s take a look at it again.

Humble.  Strong.  Willing.

God first.

Protector and provider.

Do-er not just hear-er of the Word of God.

All characteristics of a great man.

And, so, to all the single ladies—I encourage you.  Hold on.  And ask yourself:  Is this man my Joseph?  Because, if he is, then you know he’s God’s best for you.

You deserve him.  Just wait and see.

What? Did we get disconnected?

My husband wrote me an instant message sweetly saying, “We must have gotten disconnected while I was driving…”

“Sure, Richard. We got disconnected…By me!”

He is so funny!

And so is our marriage.

I am not sure, however, he thinks that I am as funny.

At least, on the other end of the line.

Now I am speaking my wife’s language…

Now I’m speaking my wife’s language.

-Richard

“Greenhouse!” It is my husband and kids “safe” word. Lol?!

My husband shouts, “Greenhouse!”  and the hubby and kids go scattering in every direction.  Every direction except towards Mommy.  They find it hilarious.

I guess my lovely brother told my husband about using a “safe” word to use when Mommy is super cranky.  They simply say the word, it’s like code, really, and then everyone starts slowly backing away from Mommy until there is no one left in the room except Mommy.

And it is used during times when I, being that Mommy, am super duper cranky and there is no hope for any smiles in the presence of Mommy.

Well, my husband and kids just think this code thing is entirely too much fun.  Apparently I am far crankier than I realize.  Because, at random times, they will all of a sudden shout, “Greenhouse!”  and disappear.  So much for secretive code, eh?!  I have definitely cracked it.

And, oh, the giggles that ensue.

But, you see, there are times when I don’t deserve “Greenhouse!”  Like the time my husband only packed his toothbrush.

Elaborate?  I think I shall.

You see, we had just moved back from the USA to Poland, when my husband left me with 3 jet-lagged children and went to another city several hours away for multiple days.  I was not sleeping at all.  Maybe I was getting 1 to 2 hours every night because just as my infant was going to sleep my 2 year old and 8 year old were waking.  To use a Polish word, it was a straszne time for me and the 3 kids.

And then he, like my great knight, came galloping back into our lives, picking us up, and taking us back with him to the city several hours away where we then spent the next week.  It was still so tiring but also much better having another half with me to help out.

Finally we got back to our house for one day before we had to pack for the palace (I know, rough life 😉 ), when he went and did it!

“GREENHOUSE!  Greenhouse!  Greenhouse!”  It was like rapid fire, shrapnel flying in all directions.  My husband, trying with all of his might, to take cover.  Unsuccessfully.  He was definitely hit.  MASH got a visit from my husband that day.

Why?  Well, he packed his toothbrush for the palace.  The rest, he left for me to pack.

What?  You may ask now utterly confused.

Let me say it again, “He packed HIS toothbrush.”  The others he left, in the cup holder, for me to pack.  Like, seriously, how hard is it to pick up 3 more toothbrushes and put them in your shaving kit, right?!

Needless to say, the next trip we took out of town, the first thing my husband said was, “I packed ALL the toothbrushes this time,” while cowering and looking for cover.

My poor, beautiful husband that always tries so hard and does so much.

No wonder my family has a code word.

“Greenhouse, greenhouse, greenhouse!”

 

 

When your husband is wrong…again!

Ugh!  It makes me sooooo angry.

That’s right, folks!

My inner-wife monster comes out.

I knew it all along.

I should have done the cake mix 1 box at a time and NOT tried to double the recipe like my husband suggested to save time.

Now I have completely DRY…let me reemphasize that…D.R.Y. cupcakes.  All because of my husband.

THAT MAN!

Yes, I said it.  In cyberspace.  THAT MAN!

UGH!

What’s that, Richard?

Did I add the water?

The box didn’t say to add water.  I’ll prove it to you…(digging through disgusting trash to stick it to him)

See!

Uh…

Did I say, “When your husband is wrong…again?!”  I meant to say, “When your husband’s WIFE is wrong…again!”

Sigh.

Happy 8th birthday, Sweet Adelyne.  Hope you like your dry cupcakes.

Blame Mommy for that one.

Oops (Walk of Mommy shame—Daddy, of course, standing tall.  Proud as a peacock and smiling away while waiting for his.  You guessed it.  Apology!)

XO always to you, my Richard, for putting up with me 😉

Eight is Great!

I thought today might be the day…

Have you ever moved into “Prepare for Countdown” mode?

Totally here!  In fact, today I started nesting.  I know…I am quite far along to start building my nest—but as the days count down, I started to realize that sooner is closer than later.

And then there was the pain.  The intense, kick my butt, bring tears to my eyes, pain.

Lastly there was the extreme tightening of the belly.  Oh how lovely was my burning hot shower on my back.  It was as if I had escaped reality and melted into lava.  Lovely lava.  Although I am pretty sure I would not want to melt into real lava.

Anyhow—I could be totally psyching myself out at this stage.  Probably since I was told the baby could come “Any day!” by the doctor—the wise and trusted physician (well, I better consider him wise and trusted or else I’ll be walking into the unknown on my L-Day).

Have you ever done that?  Psych yourself out.  Just to end up being psyched out.

I could be completely there at this moment.  Because at this moment, my little Belly Josephine is gladly kicking my softened belly and apparently having a blast by the non-stop motions.

But, then again, perhaps I am not.

Tomorrow I go back in for monitoring.  Watch them say that she’s snug and settled.  Will I feel relief?  Or am I at the point where I’m ready for her to come?

Well, technically since tomorrow is Day 1 of Week 32, I should feel relief, but this lay on my side and elevate my feet is killing me.  I am not even appreciating Hulu.  We don’t like TV on in the evenings when my daughter is up…It’s not that we’re anti-TV.  Heck no.  I have a great fondness towards many shows.  But the commercials that play in the evenings are horrendous.  I believe my 7-year-old should be spared from some nasty things in life.  So Hulu, when we have a chance, is the way we watch.

Except for Sesame Street in the morning.  Our son…He’s a huge fan!  Especially of Mr. Noodle.  Totally waves each time he appears on screen, as if Mr. Noodle himself will stop his silliness long enough to wave right back.

Anyhoo—today I was certain it was time for my “Breathe, breathe, breathe, grab my husband’s collar, breathe, breathe, breathe day.”  And I don’t even have my bag packed.

I forgot.  What do you pack for a potential preterm birth?  Do I still pack underwear and pajamas?  Do I grab clothes?  Nursing pads?  Will she be able to nurse if she comes early?

Or should I just go to the hospital with nothing at all and then after the big event ask my husband to run home and grab for me what has come to mind?!  Hmmmm…

And, if she comes early, someone’s going to have to do a preemie run to Target.  My sister already scouted out the clothes and told me they are C.U.T.E.

But, if she comes too early, will she be able to breathe okay?  My son was born sick.  So I don’t know if that’s the way it works with all premature babies.  Or if some are okay?  Or…???!!!

Let’s just say.  As soon as the doc told me that she could come any day, I had a labor dream that night.  All went well (I’m GREAT in the actual labor part of birth—it just appears I suck in the keeping the baby baking part of birth).  And then the second night I had a C-Section dream.  That was a little scarier.  I am not hoping for surgery.  I am tough.  But I am afraid that with a C-Section I may prove a wuss.

Hmmm…

Thankfully the third night I had no labor or C-Section dreams.  But I did get up to pee about 4 times throughout the night.  Perhaps that was preparation for nightly feedings?!  And, as tired as I might be during those feedings, they are completely some of my most treasured moments.  The moment I quit nursing my son is the exact moment he stopped snuggling me.  So nightly feedings it is!  And treasured moments they will be.  Babies really do grow too quickly—even when I demand that they stop!

Well, the ramblings of this overly anxious momma will stop.  I hear tires and children.  My fam is home.  Yea for reality.  And a touch of sanity.  Or insanity (depends how you describe my family).

In any case—she’s still baking, and it appears as if I’ll make it into tomorrow.  Week 32.  The beautiful number 32.  It’s a pregnancy milestone, “Thank you, God!”  And I am but hours from it.

Woo-hoo!

For now, I will sign off as big and preggo.  And hopefully tomorrow I can tell you the same.  And the next day.  And the next day.  And the next.  Until she makes it as big and fat and round and healthy as possible…a slice of perfection delivered as a bundle of screaming lungs!