hair cut | And 2 Makes Crazy

Once upon a time, there was a lady—and she met a guy. And they thought the other was pretty cute (Well, maybe not initially—but, after a few dates, they were smitten).

Kiss. Kiss. Cuddle. Cuddle.

Dun, dun, da-dun. Dun, dun, da-dun! Here comes the bride…

And then 12 years later we found ourselves here.

You know…

Old mom (give me old—because at 36 my body TOLD me it was OLD) to a newborn that went from…

This:

To this:

In just under 5 minutes.

And then we finally got him here:

To send him back to this:

Phew! Back here:

And now for his first international trip—German hospital, here we come:

Finally, bringing him back home to us here…

Besides being exhausted, everything’s looking pretty a-okay, right???

And that’s when we realize that sometimes photos are deceiving.

Here. Let me give you some examples.

Look at how absolutely lovely (yes, I’m calling us lovely) we look together in these photos:

And, yes. Times, over the years, were good.

But, oh…

This past Fall it went from: birds chirping and harps playing while choirs are singing to pictures off the wall, loud shouting, and lots of crying in approximately 2.4 (seconds, that is).

And then that’s when I did it…

Lack of sleep and marital un-bliss did me in!

I loudly announced that I was off to the hairdresser and I was CUTTING my hair! (That’ll show my husband, eh? My hair, that he LOVED, was going, going, going…Gone!)

And I drove to the nearest city (we live in a little Polish village) and trudged up two flights of creepy stairs (literally creepy stairs) and announced, “I want to CUT MY HAIR!”

Even the hairdresser questioned my decision making, asking me many times…

How short?

Are you sure?

How about just a couple centimeters?

Loudly did I protest!

No…Cut it all. To my chin! Get rid of my hair. Oh, and, by the way, color it while you are at it! Color it…This color! (I pointed to a color on the chart).

Again the hair dresser questioned…

Are you sure?

How about this color instead…???

Boy—I must be very opinionated and protest loudly because I INSISTED…

No! This color. This short!

And, so, reluctantly, she did it…

And, yes. She was RIGHT. I was WRONG!

My hair. Oh, my once rather decently glorious hair went from decently glorious to ‘scarecrow in a field’ worthy in just under 2 hours.

Ugh.

Well. Nothing I could do now.

(Speaking too soon, obviously)

Ooooooh, look! A lady that can pluck my eyebrows! Here I go, I’m gonna clean up my brows. Yes!

(Laying myself down on the table)…

Nothing too crazy, okay? Just normal eyebrows, okay? I said to the eager looking cosmetologist.

Okay…she responded.

And that’s when I felt it…

A refreshingly warm liquid being painted onto my eyebrows.

I thought—What? Is she going to wax my brows? I thought she was going to pluck my brows.

And then she did something else. She wiped the liquid off.

That’s odd. I thought. Maybe it’s a new treatment for brows—kind-of like a brow-cial (instead of facial).

And then she did something else. She plucked my brows.

Now curiosity was KILLING me.

Hmmm. It appears she’s done. I sit up. She hands me a mirror.

Friends, that’s when I realized that my husband—although the CULPRIT in this original bit of marital dispute-was The Winner. I was CLEARLY the loser.

And to prove that he won and I lost, I’ll post these:

While he still looked like this:

Sigh.

Moral of the story…

When you are in a time of marital un-bliss and you feel like you NEED to do something crazy in order to simply survive, sit back, open your computer, and take a look at my eyebrows.

If those suckers don’t convince you, well, then, perhaps counseling will…

God bless counseling.

Business in the front…Party in the back!

That’s my daughter, baby!

It’s August. Why would you write a blog about The Christmas Mullet? You may ask.

Well. I figured August was the PERFECT time. After all, there are moments in life when you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want your children to look good. No. Scratch that. Not good-GREAT!

Christmas is definitely one time.

And back to school another.

Both perfect times for memorable photos. You know, the photos that actually make it into the photo album. The moments that you actually cherish…forever!

I figured, since most children were getting ready to go back to school-or just went-it’d be the perfect time for a little seasonal humor.

What you have to remember are three things:

1. We live in Poland

2. They eat a lot of soup in Poland

3. They especially celebrate Christmas Eve

And so it happened. It was the evening before Wigilia. Which means, December 23rd. Poland is a very old country steeped in tradition. And there is hardly a day bigger in Poland than December 24th itself. Wigilia is The Day!

Everything is done for their Wigilia dinner to make it just traditionally perfect! And, oh, it is quite lovely.

So, before we get to Adelyne’s Christmas Mullet, let me introduce you to a few Polish Christmas Eve (Wigilia) traditions.

Traditions include:

Linens on the table—crisp and white, often with hay/straw tucked underneath the tablecloth as a reminder of the birth of Jesus Christ in a humble manger.

An empty chair and place setting—a reminder that there was no room at the Inn for Mary and Joseph. If a stranger happens by, they are welcomed in and given the chair.
(I haven’t heard of that happening yet, though, with any of our friends. But the thought is lovely)

The children watch for the first star of the evening (to symbolize when Christ was born), the Gwiazdka. And when the first star is seen, my favorite part of Wigilia takes place-the breaking of the oplatek (the Christmas wafer).

The wafer is then shared with those around you as you exchange beautiful wishes and love. It is as heartwarming as it sounds. Warm fuzzies to be sure. Oooh. And I forgot. As you share the oplatki with those in the room, you get kisses too. What fun!

In the homes we’ve attended for Wigilia, Luke 2:1-21 is read. The head of home stands as he reads the Holy Scriptures. It’s beautifully reverent. After the reading, it’s time to pray and eat!

Oh the eating is soooo good! 12 meatless dishes are very traditional in Poland for Wigilia. And when I say 12 meatless dinners, I should also say that 1 of those dishes is traditionally carp. Want to know the fun behind that? Some people buy the carp alive at the grocery store and keep it in their bathtub until it’s time to prepare said carp for the Wigilia meal.

*Woot-woot! We had fun with that tradition. Robert twas a good carp.*

After the meal, the Gwiazdor comes (Starman) and delivers presents!

And, of course, many koledy are sung (Christmas carols).

Perhaps this helped paint a picture of why I would have HOPED (obviously, flawed thinking to begin) that my daughter might just, for once in her life, TRY to avoid disaster for one day 😉

But, of course, her daddy HAD to serve her soup for lunch.

And what happened when she went in for her first bite of barszcz (borscht)??? Her hair fell into her soup. Heaven forbid! She couldn’t have that. So she hopped right down from the table and went for her school supplies and, low and behold, found a miraculous pair of “fixers” aka scissors. Where was daddy? That’s the question that was heard around the world.

Let’s just say—her paper cutting skills were already bad. Now you are witness to the fact that her hair cutting skills were even worse!

So, here it is, folks. The evening of December 23^rd. I have a daughter with a mullet. We have Polish Wigilia the next day. Woe to me. No Christmas card pictures this year!

Dun…dun..da…dun…Mullet time!

Perhaps, however, this mullet is FAR better than your average Christmas card anyway…

Like I quoted at the beginning…Business in the front. Party in the back! Although, from the looks of Adelyne’s mullet, she must have been going for the half business full party mullet.

Well, if that’s what she was going for, she succeeded! Brilliantly.

Wesolych Swiat, my friends! Wesolych Swiat! (Merry Christmas)

Hope your 1^st day of school pictures turn out a tad bit better…perhaps even mulletless.