The Way a Toddler Prays. Don’t Hinder It. Learn from It!

My son does not start his prayers reverently with, “Dear Heavenly Father…”
Or even, “Dear Lord God…”
Not even, “Dear…”
He starts them by folding his hands in front of his body.
He hovers over his food.
He looks at his plate of food.
He looks all around him.
And then he prays.
“Mommy, Daddy, Sissy Adelyne, GoGo (our family’s affectionate name for Josephine), Nana, Papa…”
This is where he pauses and looks around,
“Apple juice, nana (for banana this time), Minnie plate, ah, (short pause and then he points his finger up in the air as if he thought of it) Ruby Max (as in the television show), fork…”  And the list goes on.

Maxwell takes his time when he prays.  He prays for those dearest to his heart first.

After that, he begins thanking God for what he loves (not people related).

Following that, he takes time to look around him and thank God for what is in his surrounding, appreciating even the fork that he uses to eat his food.

Sometimes we hold our hands forever while we wait for this little boy to finish his lengthy prayer…I may even sigh.  Or try to hurry him along.

But, and perhaps it’s because it’s the 2-yr-old age of stubbornness, he does not allow our influence to affect his prayer.  When he is done sharing with God what he is grateful for—when he is finished sharing his heart of gratitude, THEN and only then does he shout excitedly, throwing his hands into the air, “AMEN!”

And his small sister next to him, Josephine, gets a HUGE grin on her face and wildly air slaps her hands (because the coordination of clapping them together is still to be learned—she is 10 months).

Maxwell and Josephine rejoice in prayer time.

And by the end of his prayers, no matter how cold our food is getting, his heart of gratitude and devotion to express praise for it all, rubs off on us, too.  Where we may have found ourselves sighing moments earlier in hopes that his gratitude would run out, seeing his excitement and rejoicing about those he loves and the gifts of life around him rekindles sparks in our hearts that serve to remind us that our time with God, no matter the circumstances, should never be rushed.

Even at the dinner table.

Thanksgiving all Pilgrim and Fajita Style

From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, the definition of thanksgiving (not the holiday) is:  1.  the act of giving thanks  2.  a prayer expressing gratitude  3.  a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness

And pilgrim is:  1.  one who journeys in foreign lands :  wayfarer  2.  one who travels to a shrine or holy place as a devotee  3. capitalized  :  one of the English colonists settling at Plymouth in 1620

And, therefore, today as we celebrate capital THANKSGIVING, we do it as pilgrims full of thanksgiving.  Ones that have journeyed to a foreign land and participated in the act/prayer/public acknowledgement of God’s divine goodness in our lives.  

But, because we live in a foreign country and are a bit on the side of rebels anyway, we decided to be Pilgrims all Fajita style!

We hope your day of family and giving thanks was fantastically wonderful!

Thanks for joining our crazy,

B and R and our gang of rebel Pilgrims…Enjoying life fajita-style

*Only cows and chickens suffered at the hands of our meal.  All turkeys were spared*

A Psalm of Thanksgiving.

1 Make a joyful shout to the Lord, all you lands! 2 Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. 3 Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.  4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. 5 For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.  Psalm 100 (NKJV)

Living a life of “half”

Living with multiple little people, you enter a zone called the “half” zone.

Currently I walk around in a state of stupor, shaking my head and mumbling under my breath.

Room to different room I walk and I see the same thing!

Half.

Half painted dining room chairs.

Clean laundry half folded.

A half-clean kitchen.

Half eaten cereal.

A half dressed child.

Half sleep.

Half.

It is literally driving me insane. But this morning after I sent my 8-year-old daughter off to school I had a real epiphany moment.  I am the one that needs to readjust my attitude and celebrate the half full.  Not the half empty.

I have 3 littles that run around my home like a whirlwind.  My home will look like a tornado for quite some time.  And while I walk through the tornado, I need to remember to see the furniture that is still standing.

Even if the other half is knocked over.  On the floor.  Next to the remainder of the half-eaten cereal.  Which my pint-sized littles, that are currently half the size of a grown human, put there.

Half full, my friends.  Half full.

What about you?  What are you thankful for—even if it’s currently in a state of half?

My Rocky Balboa…I hope it’s not insulting.

Today is a GREAT day. It’s my sister’s Golden Birthday. November 16th. Except she did not just turn 16. She just turned…

Ah, what’s that expression?

I think it’s 40.

Over the hill.

Lordy, Lordy, Darby’s 40!

But she doesn’t look a day over 38. I would say 25, but I pretty much think all 25-year-olds look like kids at this stage of my life, so I will simply stick with the fact that she still looks like a lady in her 30s.

And who is this great 40-year-old lady with this wonderful name Darby?

Why, this woman is my Rocky Balboa. I really hope that’s not insulting.

Here. Let me explain.

My sister and I are 16 months apart in age.

If you have children, you understand. That’s close in age. So close, in fact, that at times you feel as if you have an extension of who you are.  Almost like a twin.

Except, I am not sure she feels the same way.  And this is why…

Before we returned to Poland, Darby and I were having a fabulous late-night chat.  You see, my husband left for Poland a month before we did, so I had the immense privilege of living with my sister and her wonderful husband and fabulous kids.  Which was also RIGHT next door to my amazing brother, his awesome wife and fantastic kids.

It truly was a dream month.

But back to my conversation…

My sister looked at me and said, “Do you remember all of those times you had to fight to wear makeup or high heels or pantyhose?”

“Do you remember all of those times you had to fight to go on a date or stay up late?”

“Do you remember all of those times you had to fight to drive a car or go to a movie with your friends?”

And I simply answered, “No.”

Because I don’t.

“Exactly.” She replied.

My sister.  She is the eldest in our family.  She was our Rocky Balboa.  She entered the ring first and fought all of those battles for us.

And for Darby, they were battles.

For my brother, Casey, and I, they were simply victories.

So, to my sister.  The one that turned 40 today, I just want to say…

I thank you.

I admire you.

And I love you.

Thank you for being the most amazing sister in the world.  An example as a wife.  A brilliant auntie.  A stupendous daughter.  And the most fabulous mother.

You are my Rocky.  And I thank you for being ahead of me.  Not just because you jumped in the ring for me, but because you have always been my steadfast fighter.

On your knees, before our awesome God, praying for me.  For my life—in health and uncertainty.  In my marriage.  And for my children.

I will never forget when you told me that God spoke to you in a dream and said, “Brooke, God told me you would have another baby.”

And then we had Max.  Miracle Max.

You, my sister, you are being celebrated a world away today because of a date that marks the birth of the start of your life here on earth.

But a world away, I will celebrate you.  Not because of your birth—but because of your life.

Thank you, my sister.

Forever I thank you.

And, to end it all, “Yo, Adrienne!”  Just because I couldn’t resist.

I love you, my Rocky.

Forever and always,

your B

***

Just for fun.  In case you have never had the chance to read another rather emotionally charged battle we had.  Except this time we were both in the boxing ring.  The opponents?  The other sister 😉  Enjoy a throwback blog posting.  xo b

Knockdown Drag out Fight in Costco

Adelyne. That word says it all.

Adelyne:  Proper Noun:  A very well loved little girl often the subject of lavish attention, lots of hugs, and years of being the sole receiver of her parents’ concentration (aka: only child)

For Adelyne’s 5th birthday, when it was time for cake, she insisted on being carried in to her party.  On the arms of her daddy and uncle.  As if she was entering on a royal coach.  And she even held out her fingers as if to say, “Royalty is here!  Greet me now.”

She was loved.  She was played with.  She was well taken care of.

Our only child.  All attention lavished upon her.

And so, today, I looked at this beautiful gift of ours and asked, “Adelyne (now 8), do you remember being an only child?”

She replied, “Yes.  I was an only child forever.”

“What do you remember most about it?”

“I remember Nana took me to the Zoo the day Max was born.  And then we got to stop by McDonald’s on the way home so that I could hold him.”

In those two sentences she summed up, for me, her life.

My beautiful and precious only child began to truly live once Maxwell entered it.

He is her most beloved.  Her best friend.  Her precious treasure.

Memories will exist through photos.  And maybe one day she’ll refer to her 6 and 1/2 years of being an only child as “The Good Ol’ Days”.  But perhaps not.

Perhaps her “Good Ol’ Days” did not truly begin until her brother entered them.

And that’s a-okay.

Adelyne, in and of itself, is a miraculous and beautiful word.  But Adelyne and Maxwell—to me, is the epitome of perfection.

THIS Season in Life…

This Season in Life is spent in sleepless nights.

Touching the chest of a newborn to make sure she is breathing.

Taking random showers at odd times and feeling accomplished if I get my hair combed, clothes on, and remember deodorant (because, believe me, there were a couple times I forgot).

This Season in Life is full of caffeine.  Lots of it.

And comforting crying newborns.

And keeping little, toddling brothers from “applying” too much love to her soft spot!

This Season of Life is letting Daddy do Adelyne’s hair for school—and gratefully accepting it.

It is letting a 7-year-old pick out her clothes every day.  Despite the fact that, for the majority of the time, THEY DON’T MATCH!

It is feeding your 1-year-old hot dogs daily AND potato chips.  Because, right now, when he cries for them, he gets them (heaven forbid he WAKE THE BABY!).

This Season in Life is full of gratitude.

For God.  For my family.  For my friends.  For my husband.  And, especially, for my children.  Our brood of 3. 

Gratitude for sleeplessness and shower-less days.  For dirty diapers and mismatched clothes.   For messy homes and unkempt hair.

For in This Season of Life my heart is fuller.  My home is louder.  My time is less.  And my smile is bigger.

And until the next season of our lives, we will appreciate the crying babies, the double diaper duties, the messy 7-year-old, and the potato chip lunches.  Because, all too soon, this season will be over and my children will be older.  And I will spend my time wondering, with great nostalgia, where THIS season went…

And all I will have to remember it are fuzzy memories and photos stored on a digital card that I will have to remember to print—in my next season of life.

Teaching your children an attitude of gratitude

Helping your children learn the art of THANKS!

Our son, Maxwell, is 18 months old and he is finally starting to string a couple words together.

Before now, it was mostly singular words.  His favorite appear to be:

BaBa for Blankie

BoBo for Pacifier

Crack-a for Cracker

Mommmmmmmmmma!!!! (Imagine it shouted with great excitement at the top of his voice)

Dadda

Sissy

Ada for Sissy’s Polish name

Woof-Woof for puppy

Hop Hop for bunny

& Hot dog (he probably believes it’s one word)

Well, you get the idea…

But now it’s progressing.  He said “A ball” the other day.  I know.  Genius!  And, “Bye-bye, Sissy!”  I’m telling you…straight to university for this kid.

Problem.  The two words Thank and You put together to make “Thank you!”

As much as we use it with EVERY instance that he is given something or does something or completes a task as asked and we say, “Thank you,” the adorable little booger does not say it back.

We serve him food and say, “Say ‘Thank you’, Max.”  And he stuffs his face.  Nom, nom, nom!

Those two words simply do not roll off of his tongue.

And, in my humble mom opinion, I think it comes down to this…He says what he is excited about.

So what I need to do is teach him Gratitude with the right Attitude!

I need to help my son become EXCITED about Gratitude.

How do you do that?

It’s a great question!

My daughter is 7, and she has, since about 6 weeks of age, been involved in our foundation for the homeless and poor in Poland.

At first, of course, there wasn’t much she could do.  I mean.  They (the people at our soup kitchen) could hold her, and kiss her, and cuddle her.  They considered Adelyne “their” baby!  And it was precious.  And she was a blessing.

But she was a baby.  And it’s hard to teach a baby gratitude, even though the bundle that she was brought great joy to the people that came for breakfast.

As she grew, however, we tried to involve her as a wee one in our events.  Now at the soup kitchen instead of only being held and cuddled, she began to serve the food.  Bringing plates and cups or picking up trash.

At our church event, “Don’t Go to Church, Serve Sunday!” she and many other little hands helped make banana bread, plant flowers, and serve meals.

She did all of these things with a GREAT attitude because she was excited about them.  She got to be involved.  She got to get her hands dirty.  She got to participate.  And she was made to feel like an important part of the team!

And these are a few key elements in helping your children develop the right attitude for gratitude.

Here are five ideas to help you teach your children an attitude of gratitude:

1.  Pray —Teach them how to pray with thanksgiving in their hearts for what God has given them in their lives.

2.  Passion — Find their passions and start with those.

*Are they passionate about animals?  Take them to an animal shelter to help.

*Cooking?  Help them make cookies for an elderly neighbor.

*Nature?  Take them to the local park and help them clean up.

*Christmas?  Help them choose a Christmas Angel (or other locally sponsored event)

*Clothes?  Help them choose a couple of their outfits that are too small but in great and beautiful shape to donate to a local clothing closet.

3.  Serve — Take them places that they may not initially be passionate about and teach them how to serve along the way.  Lead them by example!

*There is probably a soup kitchen in your local area that will let children participate.

*Feed My Starving Children allows kids and parents to pack food for children that are starving throughout the world (age 5 and older can participate).

*Take them to homes of single mothers and children and help them put together a program of fun!  We have always brought Adelyne with us to homes such as these.  It’s great for her to interact and see that kids are still kids.  Living conditions and life conditions may differ, but, in the end, the joys of being a child remain the same!

*Nursing homes.  Not only are you teaching your children to love, the joy you bring into a home is indescribable.

*Help take care of an elderly neighbor’s property.  Perhaps you have an aging neighbor.  Can you help pull weeds, paint a fence, or go grocery shopping for your neighbor?  Maybe it’s even as simple as making and delivering a meal to them or drawing a picture for them.  Any act, whether big or small, will bring smiles to their faces, light in their eyes, and joy to their hearts.

*Mission Trips.  Gasp. I couldn’t do that, it’s too dangerous.  Um.  I am pretty sure there are children in other countries, too.  Showing them the world may give them the passion to help change the world.

But, if you are unable to go during this time in your life, do what these amazing 6th graders in Oklahoma did for kids in Ivory Coast—they made them clothes!  So when you can’t go—send!  It still opens the world up for children and is a blessing all around.

4.  Love — Show them that Jesus loves without barriers.

Yes, it’s important to be careful but, at the same time, teach your children to shake hands, hug, or love on people that may be considered forbidden.  The Pope recently embraced a man that many would have shunned.  The depiction of the beauty in that embrace touched my heart and soul.  I want my daughter to have that same passion for every person she meets—whether they are clean and pristine or whether they are poor and unkempt.  Love should never have a boundary. Teach your children the same!

5.  Give — Help them save a portion of their money for a charity of choice.

*Adelyne saves money every year for the participants at our New Life Center.  And once a year she gives the money towards the Center (usually for Christmas gifts).  She made a piggy bank that specifically ONLY goes towards these men.  So, on top of teaching tithing, savings, and “fun” money, she has been taught OFFERINGS.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Money is very exciting to children.  So it’s sometimes hard for them to release it from their grubby fingers.

My daughter went once and robbed her own piggy bank.  She really wanted a Barbie, and she descended the stairs with a bag of money.  I said, “Adelyne, where did you get this money because I know your Toy Store piggy bank is empty?”  Eventually she told me she robbed her own piggy bank.

And so I asked, “And what about the money for the men at the New Life Center?  Did you rob that bank too?”

She admitted, “Well, I wanted to, but I couldn’t remember where I put it!”

Hahahahahaha.  You have to admit, that is childishly adorable and cute all wrapped into one.

My point is—it’s not always easy for children to learn the art of giving—but it is possible to teach our children that sharing even our money with others brings great joy to their hearts and blesses those that receive.

Pray, Passion, Serve, Love, and Give.  These are 5 words with great impact.

And with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, it’s the perfect time to start incorporating them not only into your own hearts and lives but into the hearts and lives of your children, too.

An attitude of gratitude? 

If you raise your children with this heart of appreciation for what they have and a heart of giving to others, “Thank you” will become a beautiful part of their vocabulary…

And this is our hope for Maxwell, too!