Daddy on the Potty


The other day I went to the bathroom. Alone. It was evening. My husband was home.

When I went to the physical presence of the room with the toilet, ALL THREE of my children were occupied with 1 million other activities.

BUT—and what is it about THAT DOOR—But when that door shut, it is as if the world DID stop spinning and the only thing that was important was THAT DOOR!

I had closed it.

I had closed myself off from that OTHER world.

The world where littles occupy my legs. My hands. My thoughts. My mind.

And I went for a very biological reason to the toilet. But the toilet, once you are a mommy, serves not just the physiological but the MENTAL worlds that are YOU.

YET. And, I repeat, when I went to the restroom, my husband was at home and all three of my children were playing happily…

Yet when I closed myself off from their worlds, all hinges came unscrewed.  INCLUDING those holding that door shut.

My littlest (Josephine 14 months) came knocking and shouting.  My 2nd littlest (Maxwell 22 months) began peeking through the holes at the bottom, fingers sticking through, shouting my name.  My oldest (Adelyne) went and found a coin that acts as the PERFECT bathroom key and UNLOCKED that door.

My sanity was lost in the chaos that ensued.  No peace.  No pee.  Because, of course, no peace.  And all three just DYING to know when I would be out of that room and in their presence yet again.

My husband—he filmed the ENTIRE event from the other room—while laughing.

Picture it—Mommy in the bathroom—kids interrupting everything.  Mommy shouting for FREEDOM AND PEACE.  Daddy in the background laughing.  Kids coming in and out of the now open door.  Mommy losing what little strand of sanity she has left (which was not a lot to begin with).

If you are a mom, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about, right?!

But—if you are the daddy—for some reason, this is probably NOT what you know.

You go to the restroom.  You lock the door.  You grab a newspaper.  Your legs fall asleep from spending so much peaceful time on the potty—locked in your own private world—with your favorite sports author sharing all of the exciting news of the upcoming blah blah blah sports season.

When you’ve read the entire paper, you exit.  In peace.  And everyone is doing the same thing that they were doing when you retreated.

YEP!  I noticed this EXACT scenario the other day—the day following my bathroom chaos—when Richard went to the toilet.

And this is what I thought…WHY???  Why does Richard get the luxury of a few unspoiled moments in the bathroom?  Alone?  No shouting or crying kids?  Completing his “duty” in peace?  Why????

Therefore this Momma shouted, “Hey, Kids!  Guess what?!  Daddy is in the bathroom.  GO AND GET HIM!”

BAM!  All excitement broke loose.

The door was opened, the kids ran in…Daddy tried to be a good sport for as long as possible—until daddy didn’t find the “sport” fun any longer.  Then the kids were banished and lots of threats ensued.

I am fairly certain the children will leave daddy in peace from here on out when he’s on the pot.

But Mommy?  Forget about it—Today I was fishing my littlest out of the toilets snares while I was simply trying to pee.

In peace.

Silly me!