Yes. I may tend to give my amazing husband a hard time—but that’s because I just love him EVER SO MUCH. Or perhaps it’s because soon after he does something “funny” HUMBLE PIE often comes back to bite me in my tush.
I did it.
I killed my son’s guinea pig. Poor Chewie #4.
So, yesterday I wrote the blog post “Why Moms Were Invented,” and then the same night that I wrote that humor piece on how “awesome” we moms are and how we keep the house from BURNING DOWN…it goes and happens.
I leave the rabbit and guinea pigs (in their cages, yes) on the porch.
With the dogs.
No big deal????
No. A very big deal.
Usually this is how our farm’s worth of animals work at our house. Dogs in the house, no problem because they are surrounded by me and behave.
Dogs in the house when we are away? NO WAY! They break into animal cages and KILL KILL KILL!
Right now, with the sunshine, I have been placing our beloved little critters outside for the day to enjoy the sun. In fact, our rabbit’s hutch will be arriving soon, so she’ll really get to enjoy a fun spring/summer outside.
But I went and did it. I closed the door, not realizing that the dogs were outside and unattended.
With their favorite delicacy—guinea pig pie.
Now, you may think that I am being very unfeeling. Oh, no! I have all the feels. IT’S JUST THAT THIS IS CHEWIE #4.
Chewie 1 died of natural causes. The others—well, let’s say, “Predatory causes” — yikes!
Why don’t you call your rabbit “Cupcake #4” — don’t they eat the rabbit, too?
Well, to be honest, I think that they tried the first time they ate Chewie #2— but the rabbit was unscathed. I think a couple punches and kicks with the sharp paws and claws taught the doggies to stay away. So they aren’t even phased by little Cupcake.
The poor guineas, however…
Yes. Moms keep houses standing—but we also eat LOTS of humble pie.
Like on the days that I kill my miracle son’s beloved Chewie (4).
Adelyne told me to replace Chewie like I once replaced her fish—but I didn’t get around to that before Max noticed his guinea pig’s cage was missing…
Plus, a fish and a guinea pig switch? Not quite the same, eh?!
All in all, the house is still standing and now I have to find a new critter for the little man.
And, yes, he wanted to see Chewie. Another slice of pie, please…
I had to show him where I placed his guinea pig.
He thought I would have lovingly buried it, oh my!
Instead I had to show him a plastic bag in the trash. Outside.
I tried to explain it this way, “Remember the foxes that came and ate your buried dog??? Yes, let’s not invite them to come and eat your guinea pig, too, okay?!”
Hence, Chewie remained in his original grave (the plastic coffin).
And “Death” was the topic of conversation of two littles for the rest of the day.
This time, when Max goes for his new pet, it will 100% not be a guinea pig.
I can’t handle Chewie #5.
Nor another slice of humble pie (I do eat a lot of it).