I thought today might be the day…

Have you ever moved into “Prepare for Countdown” mode?

Totally here!  In fact, today I started nesting.  I know…I am quite far along to start building my nest—but as the days count down, I started to realize that sooner is closer than later.

And then there was the pain.  The intense, kick my butt, bring tears to my eyes, pain.

Lastly there was the extreme tightening of the belly.  Oh how lovely was my burning hot shower on my back.  It was as if I had escaped reality and melted into lava.  Lovely lava.  Although I am pretty sure I would not want to melt into real lava.

Anyhow—I could be totally psyching myself out at this stage.  Probably since I was told the baby could come “Any day!” by the doctor—the wise and trusted physician (well, I better consider him wise and trusted or else I’ll be walking into the unknown on my L-Day).

Have you ever done that?  Psych yourself out.  Just to end up being psyched out.

I could be completely there at this moment.  Because at this moment, my little Belly Josephine is gladly kicking my softened belly and apparently having a blast by the non-stop motions.

But, then again, perhaps I am not.

Tomorrow I go back in for monitoring.  Watch them say that she’s snug and settled.  Will I feel relief?  Or am I at the point where I’m ready for her to come?

Well, technically since tomorrow is Day 1 of Week 32, I should feel relief, but this lay on my side and elevate my feet is killing me.  I am not even appreciating Hulu.  We don’t like TV on in the evenings when my daughter is up…It’s not that we’re anti-TV.  Heck no.  I have a great fondness towards many shows.  But the commercials that play in the evenings are horrendous.  I believe my 7-year-old should be spared from some nasty things in life.  So Hulu, when we have a chance, is the way we watch.

Except for Sesame Street in the morning.  Our son…He’s a huge fan!  Especially of Mr. Noodle.  Totally waves each time he appears on screen, as if Mr. Noodle himself will stop his silliness long enough to wave right back.

Anyhoo—today I was certain it was time for my “Breathe, breathe, breathe, grab my husband’s collar, breathe, breathe, breathe day.”  And I don’t even have my bag packed.

I forgot.  What do you pack for a potential preterm birth?  Do I still pack underwear and pajamas?  Do I grab clothes?  Nursing pads?  Will she be able to nurse if she comes early?

Or should I just go to the hospital with nothing at all and then after the big event ask my husband to run home and grab for me what has come to mind?!  Hmmmm…

And, if she comes early, someone’s going to have to do a preemie run to Target.  My sister already scouted out the clothes and told me they are C.U.T.E.

But, if she comes too early, will she be able to breathe okay?  My son was born sick.  So I don’t know if that’s the way it works with all premature babies.  Or if some are okay?  Or…???!!!

Let’s just say.  As soon as the doc told me that she could come any day, I had a labor dream that night.  All went well (I’m GREAT in the actual labor part of birth—it just appears I suck in the keeping the baby baking part of birth).  And then the second night I had a C-Section dream.  That was a little scarier.  I am not hoping for surgery.  I am tough.  But I am afraid that with a C-Section I may prove a wuss.

Hmmm…

Thankfully the third night I had no labor or C-Section dreams.  But I did get up to pee about 4 times throughout the night.  Perhaps that was preparation for nightly feedings?!  And, as tired as I might be during those feedings, they are completely some of my most treasured moments.  The moment I quit nursing my son is the exact moment he stopped snuggling me.  So nightly feedings it is!  And treasured moments they will be.  Babies really do grow too quickly—even when I demand that they stop!

Well, the ramblings of this overly anxious momma will stop.  I hear tires and children.  My fam is home.  Yea for reality.  And a touch of sanity.  Or insanity (depends how you describe my family).

In any case—she’s still baking, and it appears as if I’ll make it into tomorrow.  Week 32.  The beautiful number 32.  It’s a pregnancy milestone, “Thank you, God!”  And I am but hours from it.

Woo-hoo!

For now, I will sign off as big and preggo.  And hopefully tomorrow I can tell you the same.  And the next day.  And the next day.  And the next.  Until she makes it as big and fat and round and healthy as possible…a slice of perfection delivered as a bundle of screaming lungs!

Stillness is Strength

I learned one thing nearly 2 years ago when my life was Go-Go-Go! I learned the art of “Still”.

In today’s world, we may feel the pressure of Go! Do! Conquer! Complete! But there will come times in your life, in my life, where we are asked to do one thing: Be still and know that He is God.

When you or I, our spouses, or our children are sick, we tend to “placate” the illness with medicine that gives temporary relief.  Within 20 minutes we are feeling pretty good again. Our kids, they’re running circles around the home. Our spouse is back to work. But that relief wears away and misery is back to keep us company. And we know, in our heart of hearts, that rest will truly be the only thing to help us regain real strength, not simply give us the facade of “strong”.

As much as we might want to fight the urge to be still, it is what is sometimes asked. It is what is sometimes needed.

And sometimes we are overlooking one of the most important things of all…in our stillness He is strong. God.

Trying to go, do, and conquer can take away from the work The Lord God himself wants to do for you. Psalm 46:10 (NIV) says, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

In our stillness, God is glorified.

And where God is glorified, there is always great strength.

So, my friends, if you are at that crossroad in your life between stillness and strength, you should choose stillness.  Let Him show strength!

Once upon a muddy Sunday…and a hospital visit Tuesday

So I have lots of autumn and winter plans. In fact, tonight we are suppose to be serving food at a local soup kitchen. Tomorrow I am suppose to teach Art Masterpiece at my daughter’s school. Friday my husband leaves for Ivory Coast for our foundation. Saturday my niece has an honor’s choir concert—and I have an awesome girls’ night out where we’re…me and some of my besties…are going to paint the town red! Well, literally we’re going to paint a cardinal, but it sounds like fun, huh?! But sometimes life has different plans…like belly monitors and bum shots and potential premature babies (and, if you’re counting, this would be number 2—but let’s see how long I can keep her baking).

All in all, my babies will always trump any plans-because they are the greatest plans of all!

Have a Super Tuesday.

“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer…with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:5-7