Because He Lives…
I can face tomorrow.
Because He Lives…
All fear is gone.
Because I know…oh…oh…
He holds my future!
Life is worth the living JUST because He lives!
Can I be honest???
As I sit typing this, I am not sure those are the exact lyrics. They are, however, the lyrics resounding loudly in my head.
And I love them.
I look at each of them…
Because Jesus lives, I can face tomorrow.
I remember when we miscarried our baby, I could not face the light of day. I could not face the exit of our house into a different part of the real world. I could not face the presence of people that did not lose babies…
I could not face anything.
I wanted to remain curled in my dark dungeon of death and hide.
But He was there.
Loving me. Holding me. Comforting me.
And, eventually, I began to live again.
Because He Lives, all fear is gone.
I remember when God asked me for Maxwell’s life. My only son’s life. He asked me to give Maxwell to him.
I remember shouting, “No, God! I will not give you Maxwell. I gave you my other baby and you TOOK that baby from me! Therefore, you CANNOT have Maxwell.”
I remember the fear of losing my son. My only son. To death.
I remember the fear of trying to imagine life without my son. My only son. To death.
I remember the fear of not knowing if Maxwell would live or die.
I remember that fear as if it, that fear, is sitting next to me at this moment while I type this.
But the VERY moment that I relinquished my son completely into the hands of God, I remember that fear leaving me.
Instantaneously.
Gone.
Did I know if my son would live?
No.
Did I know if my son would die?
No.
I knew absolutely only one thing—God had Maxwell in his hands.
And with that, my fear was gone.
Because I know he holds my future…
When I was on the brink of a mental breakdown. My marriage was in shambles. My life was far different than I ever dreamed. When I was on that brink — when I did not see my future as a family whole, I realized, probably for the first time in all of my life, that God is enough.
At first I thought God was enough—plus my family—plus my friends—plus my job—plus my husband—plus my children (I progressed as I got older and more married, you know—things like that). God PLUS everything and everyone else were enough.
But when I was left with nothing but the very shell of who I was — THAT is only when I realized that it wasn’t God PLUS the rest.
It was only God.
Life is worth the living just because He lives!
Take it from a woman that knows. Life is worth the living just because he lives!
I pray that you come to this beautiful peace in your life, too.
Happy Easter, my friends!
***
After writing this, I went on Google, and look what I found! Enjoy.
Also, in the above photo, Maxwell is in a full coma and simultaneously receiving a life-saving blood transfusion. So, if you donate blood, THANK YOU! Also fitting for Easter, the fact that someone gave so that my son could live.
Wonderful writing once again! Happy Easter!
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thank you so much, glenda! blessings for your new week in April. Much love from Poland. xoxo b
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great post baby!!!
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Thanks, Babe! But the photo still makes my stomach turn and my throat knot up. I love you…We’re walking this life thing together and finally on the up side of it all, right?! lol!!! xoxoxo my love! b
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